


The Nishikido English Dictionary

by embarrassing old stuff from LJ pre-2015 (prevaricator)



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-17
Updated: 2010-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-15 19:55:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prevaricator/pseuds/embarrassing%20old%20stuff%20from%20LJ%20pre-2015
Summary: Ryo decides to give a lecture on writing deep,meaningfullyrics in English.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from LJ

**The Nishikido English Dictionary**  
PG, Gen, Kusano POV with various members of NEWS, KAT-TUN, and Kanjani8, 592-ish words  
Warnings: Crack  
Summary: Ryo decides to give a lecture on writing deep, _meaningful_ lyrics in English.

A/N: Originally posted on the AU/Gen/Crack anonmeme, [here](http://jenotpornmeme.livejournal.com/283.html?thread=18459#t18459). Sadly I just couldn't fit everyone in.

 

"Can't-o stoppu, ah-ajicted? ohhhh, addicteddo! to za shi-shindiggu?" Yasuda read, stammering a bit. "Ryo-chan, what's a shin dig?"

"It's a small party," Ohkura supplied from the next seat over, not bothering to look up from staring over Junno's shoulder at the DS he was holding under his desk.

"Cop top he says I'm gonna win big?" Shige continued, looking confused. He nudged Kusano. "Does that even make any _sense_?"

Kusano looked at the page. So far as he could tell, it was all nonsense, "Nope. Ryo-chan, why are we studying Red Hot Chili Peppers lyrics? Everyone knows they don't make sense."

"They make perfect sense. You just have to understand the _symbolism_ ," Ryo said from his lectern. Ohkura nodded enthusiastically

"Why is Ryo even giving us a seminar on writing English song lyrics?" Yamapi asked. "Wouldn't Jin be better?"

Jin chose that moment to give a loud snore from the seat next to his best friend. Everyone snorted, and Ryo tossed a piece of chalk at Jin's head. It landed innocently on the floor. Jin didn't even twitch.

"You guys don't need to know how to write songs about clubbing and how much you hate things," Ryo said. "I'm here to teach you how to write deep, _classy_ lyrics in English."

"Because the Red Hot Chili Peppers have _always_ been classy," Ueda muttered in a corner.

Several people in the room looked surprised, wondering what, exactly, Ueda knew about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. None of them spoke up.

"Well, fine. Since you all hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers, let's go to the next song," Ryo said. "Everyone, turn your papers over."

"'Turn your papers over?'" Shige muttered. "What is this, high school?"

Wanting to get the "seminar" over with as fast as possible, everyone flipped their papers.

"You can't say the Beatles aren't classy!" Ryo said.

"I think you mean class _ic_ ," Kusano snorted.

"Maybe they're classically classy?" Junno offered, looking up from his DS for the first time. Jin woke up long enough to grab the piece of chalk from the floor and throw it at Junno. It hit the back of Junno's head, but did nothing to dampen his grin.

Kame frowned at the lyrics and started a whispered converstaion with Koki and Tegoshi. The rest of the room was filled with the sounds of people trying to enunciate English words, to varying degrees of success. Kusano wished he was as good as Jin at sleeping in a crowded room.

After a few minutes, Kame looked up. "How is 'I am the eggman/They are the eggmen/I am the walrus/Goo goo goo joob' classy?"

"It's all about the _symbolism_ ," Ryo snapped.

"Did you know John Lennon wrote this while on an acid trip?" Massu said.

Nakamaru gave him a horrified look. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, and I heard he wrote it specifically to confuse some teacher who making students interpret Beatles lyrics," Tegoshi added.

"Ryo, do you even know what a walrus is?" Kusano asked, idly. He hoped nobody would ask- the truth was that he wasn't too sure, himself.

Ryo sighed and put his head down on his lectern. "If you know so much, why don't _you_ do the teaching?" he asked, miserably.

"I'm not crazy enough to even try something like this with people like these," Kusano snorted. A roar of protest arose when he waved his arm in the general direction of most of Kanjani8.

Ryo glanced around the room. "Oh, fuck it," he said, and walked out.  



End file.
